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@ Fattie, I am not a native speaker, but isn't that contradictory to OP: "he must be thinking about starting a family, marriage, etc and her starting out in life." Well -- I feel that it totally contradicts the earlier "I can only think he's with her for one reason! My relationship with my wife lasted 16 years and produced 3 lovely children. However, as MY children reach their teenage years I of course see everything from the perspective as a parent.

I think the most important thing to do is not push your daughter away with any shouting matches or 'you are doing the wrong thing' this is what my mother did and although she was doing her best in a difficult situation - the shouting and threats simply pushed me away further.

There was a letter to my daughter from a 17-year-old boy. We don't know if we trust her now, and we wonder what's wrong with a 17-year-old who would be interested in someone so much younger. When she came home today, she went straight to her room and won't talk to us. I would guess that she has kept this relationship from you because she knows that you would disapprove of it because of the disparity in their ages.

When she got home we asked her if she had given out our home address and phone number to any boys and she said yes. My husband and I got married when we were 18 and had our daughter when we were 17. You do have reason to be concerned about a relationship between a 17-year-old boy and your 14-year-old, eighth-grade daughter.

If you have a question, please email Chris at this specific email address: adviceforparentsoftweens[at]gmail[dot]com.

Please keep your questions on the issue of raising older kids.

When I was in college I constantly heard girls complain how immature boys were. Guaranty you that the dude is plowing your daughter.

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She thinks that we are mean and are trying to make her life miserable. Let them have their girlfriend or boyfriend over to the house while you are home. Get to know the other kid’s parents and what his/her home life is like. I have gone to the movies with my son’s girlfriend’s family, out to casual dinners, the amusement park.The new found love that your daughter has found is fantastically powerful and she is overwhelmed with feelings in so much that nothing else truly matters.It's like a drug and despite parents, friends, or even common sense whispering behind the scenes 'don't do this'.Older men tend to be better prospects for marriage-aged women.#Facts Of Life What is improper?Old fashioned would be wondering why she isn't already married at 21. Is there something wrong with him or is just his age a problem? However, she is foreign, moved to the US for college and completed her undergrad a year ago and has been working since.Would you rather her date a bonehead 21 y/o frat guy? I don't think I would be nearly as comfortable dating an undergraduate student.