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When Bill* and I first started dating, I had no doubt he was interested in me.We would text first thing in the morning and talk all day about everything and nothing, and often I would send him a text right before I went to sleep, and the first thing I saw on my phone the next morning was a message from him.But one of those ticks would endure after landing in a patch of sticky sap, becoming entombed in amber with blood still flowing from a wound on its back.That’s the story that one researcher has pieced together from the body of a tick, gorged with blood, found trapped in amber in the Dominican Republic.He promised me things that felt too-much-too-soon but also kind of wonderful—that he'd bring me and coffee every morning, that we'd go away the next weekend together, that he would get me a plane ticket to meet him in Europe while he was away on business. "I don't want to rush into anything and regret it." "Don't worry," he responded. If I didn't, I'd be mysteriously gone." I wanted to believe it all. I left his apartment excited at the prospect of what we had started.But then a whole day had passed—the longest we had gone without any interaction since we started dating. "He is totally into you." But then another day passed. "I often hear clients beg for an explanation of why someone would do this. But for some, there is a struggle between what they believe is right and how they behave."Logically, I get it—but that still doesn't make it right.

Searching diligently for pesky ticks and other insects, they cast them to the ground without so much as an afterthought.I knew Bill was on deadline for work, so I gave him space. I stalked his social media to make sure he was still alive—and was he ever. Should this guy—or anyone, really—get a pass just because he doesn't feel like going through the awkwardness of ending things?After yet another day of silence, I finally texted him. He'd been posting regularly on Instagram and Twitter, and as I scrolled through his feed, my head started spinning. "You can't get a peep out of him, yet you can see that he's talking to the whole world on social media."It did suck, and I wondered: What makes a seemingly good guy go from everything to nothing? Aijan says that guys who do a 180 experience what's called cognitive dissonance—a kind of mental stress that occurs when we have two conflicting beliefs about something.Emily says it was difficult to deal with Howard’s fame.“My dad always instilled in us, ‘Everybody’s watching you,’ ” she recalls.The trapped tick was something of a windfall for science because it was preserved shortly after feeding.