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That attitude I think is the Achilles heel of this story.To note: I do not consider myself to be at the top of the ladder in terms of attractiveness.From an early age, he was told he needed to marry a Korean woman. Le thinks at least part of this is due to pervasive cultural stereotypes.So naturally, he rebelled.“I didn’t necessarily say to myself, I wouldn’t marry a Korean-American woman, but I definitely thought, there’s no way I am going to marry a women straight from Korea,” he said. You know them: Asian-American men are at best nerdy, at worst, neutered or not masculine enough.There’s a trend of Korean-American marriages incorporating a lot of older traditions in wedding ceremonies.Hardy Kim sees a lot of symbolism in those old traditions, like the parents throwing chesnuts and dates at the bride and groom (that's supposed to symolize how many children, by gender, the couple will have).It was as if the universe decreed that there was a racial and cultural line that I was never meant to cross if I wanted to find love.

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What I do know is that people, regardless of men or women, generally are attracted to confidence. Like these posts that write about dating being a bald man: I'm not saying that you have to agree with all of the things that your government does or to strictly follow the traditional philosophy of Chinese people but simply to present yourself as someone that has a little bit more self-respect. The American analogy for this would be the creepy Japanophiles or "Yellow Fever" guys perving over cosplay girls.

The funny thing is that most my Chinese friends admired me for doing so.

I have dated Jews, African Americans, Hispanics, and Caucasian Americans.

An American man who had once taught in China famously told me, “You don’t have to worry about the students falling in love with you.” It made sense to me.

I had only ever forged friendships with foreign Asian men at my university, feeling romance was never a possibility, and had yet to move past “Hello” with any of the Chinese men on campus, who almost never noticed when I smiled or waved at them while passing by on the way to classes.