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I was convinced that I'd be inviting the kind of vulnerability I'd always dreaded into my life — and that the same partner year after year would eventually stagnate my personality.My solution was to keep one high-heeled boot dangling just outside the door at all times.Many of my clients lament their stories of getting to the second stage of dating, only to have the romantic rug pulled out from under them.You know the story – you meet, connect, have a few great conversations, maybe a kiss or two and before you know it you’re ‘seeing each other’.Moreover, he wanted the real thing — marriage, commitment, stability, old-fashioned love — which, like a spray of DEET, made me want to fly as far away as possible.Somehow, I resisted the urge to sabotage the whole thing. Ever the cynic, I kept searching for a sign that he was a fraud., and they generally have a serious problem in staying in a relationship for the long-term.

The underlying causes are different for each person, but in most cases the person has experienced or witnessed relationship difficulties in the past.It really isn’t you, it’s them…Which isn’t to say that commitment-phobes don’t deserve some sympathy.Men and women with commitment issues tend to have a deep fear of intimacy, and their feelings are borne of a learnt negative opinion of love and relationships. Dating a commitment-phobe is thankfully pretty uncommon, but it’s also something you never expect to happen to you (until it does).Don’t take it personally; people with commitment issues tend to have a tough time connecting with other aspects of their life, such as friends, family, work and even their living environment.When I was single I went through a two year spate of dating commitment-phobes. This was a frustrating and really draining time in my life (especially because most of the men I chose also lived interstate).