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Many people say that they hate dating and looking for romance, and would much rather quickly find a person to “settle down” with, minus all the coffees and dinners, hope and rejection.

Some give up, but others keep striving, because finding someone to love often makes for a rewarding life that is efficient and productive — we thrive.

We find a mate to pass on our genes, but also a companion to help us experience pleasures, and to help us meet our personal goals.

In modern Western culture, dating and romance is often key to winning that special other person, that special sense of well-being.

They are non-verbal, food-seeking, essential reward areas. The striving helps our personal and species survival.

It is good to strive for a partner in life, and to keep at it. We have to try to learn from our failures and successes and widen our horizons.

When I think back on my early memories of formative queer crushes, I associate pretty much all of them on some level with shame, guilt, secrecy, and fear.

Oh, the unique horrors of being a man who fancies women and finds it hard to approach them without seeming like a creep. How do we ever hook up with each other, when no-one ever wants to make the first move?

I try not laugh when heterosexual, cis men complain to me about this, kindly explaining it with such patience, because it will be tough for a woman to relate to this experience. In fact, this problem is so common among those of us who aren’t hetero cis men that it’s kind of a cliche.

“He was always friendly and funny with me,” Reubens said.

In addition to the cash prizes from “Gong Show,” the “booby prizes” for losing were also memorable.